Friday, April 16, 2010
i got FREE passez to "kick-ass" yesturdai. its yet anotter komic-enspiered moovee filmed in toronto but pretending to be new york. cuz no one wants to live in smellie, filthie toronto, especially to shag it up in there alleywayz.
so i got into the theatur at jon street and we wached this kok and ballz flying through the sky for like an hour, deefening our earz as it repeeted over and over again. than some twirpp in a skuba suit started to attak us with prizez, it wuz scari. i thought this was about superheors.
the moovee envolved lots of peeple dying - which i always approved of. what seeled the deel for me wuz - and i wont say much - but a fello plushy-teddy bear was saved from near death by one of the superheors and that jest made my day. to often i see plushies get beeten up, abused, or berned, so when i saw this i just about pooped my pants in glee.
now, some stuupid cbc reevuuer thought this muuvee sucked cuz it 'katered to the fanboiz' of the scene, which reely ofended me cuz i liked it. i fucken hate superheors and their homophobic-homoerotic konsurvateve moralizing spandex shit. its the indie comix that appealz to me, cuz i'm sofistekated.
so the moovee is about this geek who has no frens or 'life' who reeds comix all dai becuz he is a geek. he then desides to put on a kostume and act like a loon and he suckz. so his dad thinks hez gay, cuz he got naked in an alleyway and so does his friendz, and he becomes this gay GFF friend to this hot chickie who likes to play with needels. she haz theze big boobiez and when we saw them (u could see some niiple) one of the guyz in the audience made some weird noizes (we thought he was masturbating or sumthing). this tiks me off cuz we have so much violents and swearing but merikanz are afrade of some nakkedness. they have fuked up valuz. anywayz, then, sum killer klownz, dressed up as batman and robin come in and save the day, killing all the drugies and blowing peeple up with gattling gunz. then they do a song and danse.
what reeely ticks off the moralety polise is the 11y gurl who killz peeple and kusses a bit: 'cunt', 'fucker', stuff like that. reellly, that wuz the best part of the moovie and now i want to be her. i'm still young!!! im gonna lern kun fuu and weponz and ware her kool kostume and kik ass.
so all in all, the moovee haz tipikal hollewood xpektaishawns, but it makes up for it with lots of violents, deth, kick-assness, and some gud songz. without the 'hit gurl' i would have given it C for hollewood affort, but with the gurl, i give it A-.