tonite, i wached A-TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111`````````````````\
it wuz awsum!!! boldi, doily, tiger, and the jewerly man were all in it!!
so, in kase peepel are kumpleetly kluless as to wut a teem iz, itz abowt for awsum duudz who ar fraymed for murdur kuz sum guy is a dik. but then sum chiki with masheen gun legs tryz to set them free with bazookaz. but this see eye eh guy iz a reel dik (remind aniwon of the lozers, aniwon!?).
aniwayz, a teem is much bettur. and it haz theeze xploshawnz, and therez teddy with 3d glassez, and murdock is deelitefulli ensayn!!! but this guy kalled kyke is stuupid and tryz to bazooka them all up and be mahcho, but the jewlery man izent going to take it, and he bytez his ankel off. than killur klownz storm the kontri, eat everiwonz livurz, and singz and dansez on there stuupid skullz. the end.
yu no wut i think... A+!!!!!!!!!!! (but remembur itz an akshawn moovee, so dont get krazy with stuupid xpektashawnz). AND STAY TILL AFTUR KREDETS FORE BONEUS SEENZ!!
sum tyme ago, i wached this moovee kalled 'symbol' by sumwon in japan. itz about a homoeratik restlur and sum gui in pajamaz and itz reely, reely wiiurd.
at furst, won mite theenk that itz a mexikan moovee kuz therez theeze nunz and restlurz speeking spanesh in sum dessert. butt itz naut. kuz than we see this japaneeze guy who iz in a room filled with evil demun chilldren. i dont want to spoill anitheeng, butt letz jast say itz waki.
letz jast say that itz about finding gawdzilla, or bekuming won, by puting on a homoerotika maask on. but than killur klownz find there maask and destroy the yuniverce, and danse on there krushed adamz. the end.
this moovee wuz reeely wiiurd but sumhow gud. i give it a A!
so, i watched this moovee kalled 'the eye' by the pang bruthurz (who did 're-cycle'), kuz, like all the othur ajjan mooveez, wuz remaid by stuupid holliwuud.
if yu watch it, yu miht remembur it from 'the sixth sens', witch wuz dun befor it. itz about sum gurl who is blind, but steelz sum iballz frum sum tie chik and bekumz a goestbustur. xsept, she haz no ekuipment and so iz haanted.
basikly, shez running around til sum angri hippi vilagurz burn hur - butt then killer klownz kum in and gutt there throotz and steel all there stuupid iballz for iball soop.
this moovee haz sum kreepi moementz, but itz also a bit laklustr. i give it C+ for unoreeginal stuff.
dooring the weakend, i wached this koreeean 'hoarer' moovee kalled 'hansel and gretel'. wen i piked it up, i thoht it wud be lyke the rok band, butt it wuzznt.
ensted, itz abowt a guyz mind in sum deep attik, that haz a deep foreest kumming owt of hiz head. at furst, hez having this laym kar krash and iz piked up by sum red riding hood gurl and is tayken to this majikal kassel. she apearantly wuz looking for sum bunnez who had ehskaped.
so in this kassel, all they eet iz kake and kupkakes, and peepel are turned into dollz, and stuupid preests ar triing to rool the wurld. it got wiiurd with sum orefanage krap. but thankfuli, killer klownz sayved us from the slo plot by killing everiwon and dansing on there korpsez. the end.
the moovee iz a stori abowt why yu shoondt trust kids... or adullts, or aniwon. and dont get pregnant. there ar killer bunneez, but i fell asleep aftur the bunnee moteefs ran dri. the moovee iz slow paced... needs moor umph. i give it B-
so i gawt to wach this spanesh moovee kalled 'the dark hour'. itz a hoarer moovee with zombeez and goest-aleeanz and stuupid diks. itz centured on this boy kalled 'jesus' who is in the kompanee of othur juuz set in a bunkur airea sirounded bi peepel who hayte juuz (zombeez and goest-aleeanz).
were led to beeleev that there wuz this newkleer apokalips with krazi peeple with dog-hedz and an armi of zombeez who hayt spanesh peepel. theeze juu servivorz are tyred and angri and loanly and hayt theze stuupid hayturz, so thei deside to blo them all up with there gunz lyke they were brewse willus.
mammi...?!
butt the zombeez and goest-aleeanz are moor pissed and thei piss on them, forsing the kamera gui to pan out and reelize there tru situashawn - killer klownz are xpearimenting on them before eeting there fasez - witch thei du. the end.
this moovee wuz a bit lo on the budgat, but it wuz still gud. i gev this moovee a B+ for beening a sleepur theengee.
sum daiz ago, i wached this 'sherlock holmes' moovee. sherlock holmes is a peeriode peese with sum kun foo guy who mumblez to hymnself in sum wiiurd languiwh (kinda sounds like english). and he doez sum daidreeming.
he also doez sum wershipping of sum devel guy, but he bumbelz up his part in a retchuall and teh kabal get pissed and try to kill him. so he'z raysing throo london, getting drunk, getting into fihts, trying not to get killed buy teh kabel, and also trying not to shak it up with some hawt merikan chicki kuz she'z evil or sumething. waltson is theyre and is all pissi kuz sherlock kant even hold a jab.
ufc aniwon!?!??
it turnz out that sum devel lord is trying to steel the krown jewelz or wutever by killing everywon, so sherlock and watson, and the chikie all stop him - but than killer klownz appear in there entergallaktik spase ship and nuke london and the rest of the wurld, than sing and danse on there fried korpsez. the end.
the moovee wuz enturtayning for a hallewuud moovee, butt it wuz jast an akshawn moovee moor then anithing. i give it a B.
agan, i wuz toremented to whach a stuupid moovee by kafka - this won wuz kalled 'dead man' starring jonni debt and is set in the viktorian age of kannibel krosdressurz (in merika).
itz a veri stilized moovee, with sum mieldly kwurki karakturz and lotz of willderness. itz about this gui kalled 'blake' whoz looking for neil young bekazz of hiz loud youbekwetus geetar reffs (witch are beening played everiware on hidden speekerz on treez and krap). itz allso a kwest for tobakko.
at furst, blake is a reel wemp - but then he turnz into this pumken skul-krushing, anglesh poeet-killur. baysikly, most of the moovee konsests of peepel geting killed and than having them poeze lyke they were in sum blake paynting.
as blake gets more 'dethly', kollekting 'whyte man's metall', the moovee kopeez apokalips now with the river and sum wiiurd tempel komplex. their, were lead to beeleev that neil yonge is at the centre, waitin for blake so du some dualling with geetar hero.
butt, he'z not there - ensted, itz killer klownz, and they kill everiwon, eat there faysez, and danse on there korpsez. the end.
i thouwt the moovee wuz stuupid and boreing, so i give it a D-, but kafka kinda lyked it and gave it a B. agan, hiz tayste in mooveez is kuestonabul.
saadly, during teh long weakend, i wuz forsed to watch sum dum moovee kafka forsed me to watch, it wuz kalled 'petropolis', but i kall it poopaganda.
the moovee (and i losely kall it won), is about this majikal land kalled alburta, ware this blak majik substanse kalled 'oil' jast spreengz up from the grownd!! lyke id beleeve that. theze hipsturz are angri kuz theur kutting a few treez down to make ant hillz to farm this majikal substanse that powerz the uniiverze.
itz a reel snuuze fest, kuz theyre isent ani plot or akshawn or karakturz - jast piktur after piktur of all this oil and the faktoriez, and the little ants doing there thing to farm this majikal substanse. it wuz sorta lyke 'manufactured landscapez', but with nothing butt video pikturz. wutever.
kafka thought it wuz alarming and showz ensayn kallallsall inviralmentul damage that's the biggest in the wurld. i wundnt no kuz i slept threw it all.
i give this moovee a big D-, with the only sayving grase is the pretti pikturz - butt it's about nuthing and iz boring. however, kafka thinks it's an A- kuz itz pretti and it illestratez jast wut iz happening and itz stuupid. i think kafka's tayst in mooveez is stuupid. wutever.
so i wuz given this kopy of 'the burrowers', witch is abowt theze peepel who rent mooveez from 'eyesore cinema' and poest reevuuz abowt em.
the moovee is abowt this guy who iz kalled koffee (i kall him sir pisses-a-lot) who saw sum mayk owt sesshawn beetween a chiki, an olde dued, and mistearius otherz, and got jealoused but was too skared to joyn.
so sum diks in soljur suets get all hiped up and think itz theze eeleegal aelianz kalled suu'z, utu'z, or skwall'z (i get konfuzed i dont no who is wut) that iz mayking owt with everiwon. so they bring this 'kru' of a gae wite preest who theenks hez in charg, with this guy kalled pastor (who is smelli), sum token blak guy kalled chef cuz hes a kook, and this boy-man whoz never had sex.
feeld upon feeld we go with these guyz, with sum skwall guy saying there all skruued kuz there stuupid. we than see sum stuupid random soljur guyz get killed bi sum vampi-burro-bunneez so the 'kru' think there soljur addventoor is laym so they leev to hunt rabbetz.
so, smelli pastor gets bored and usurps as leedur when the gae preest is maymed by soshal justise aktevests kuz they were throoing poo at a tree and it got pissed. but than the boy-man goez of and kollects this komatos-unded gurl and propozez marage and tryz to mayke owt with her. but jast before he kan kiss her, sum ball busting bunneez drop him a rowhipinall and dayte raype the boy ensted.
the chiki the boy-man has the hawts fore
the smelli pastor is pretti laym as leedur, thinking itd be hawt to go to a taatoo konvenshawn with a skwall chiki, forcing chef and sir pisses-a-lot to kum with him. butt pastor is all pissy kuz the konvenshawn is over, so he finds sum utu guyz and goes fishing with em.
jast wen we think everithing is fine and the kredits are rolling, killer klownz show up, pissed kuz there bunniez were eaten, so they kill everiwon and sing and danse on there korpses. but they get huntgri, so they fest on chef's leg kuz its tender. the end.
bunneez!!!
over all, the moovee has graatuetus kartuun skwall deth kuz of that moovee kalled lost in tranzlayshawn with bill murri. itz a rowmantec tragedi, mostly kuz of the deth of the vampi burro-bunneez (why are monsturz alwayz so hayted!!?!?). it wuz so deepresing, but okay, so i give it a B for bowdayshawss bunnez.
Now, before I get into my latest movie review, I need to update you all on some changes to my blog that you might now have noticed. There have been some complaints (Ben), that my reviews and ramblings are incoherent, with poor spelling and grammar. I think this is stupid beyond belief and that those who have trouble are just racist and have no education. However, because I must be a whore and cater to my fans, I've allowed some trusted others to translate for me so that my exceptional thoughts and opinions can be better appreciated and understood by the smelly masses.
So anyways, here's my review on the Japanese* pseudo-horror film, 're-cycle'. It's about this chicky who's a writer, blogger, and is really famous because she writes sappy romance novels. She's totally emo-esque, going on about how her life sucks and she rejects some guy of her past who was, and still is, a real dick.
beware of recyclingand green screens
However, then she finds herself haunted by some crazy babushka lady who wants her pen back. The babushka lady gets so crazy and pissed off she curses her to the land of factory-farming libraries and zombie-encrusted harlequins. In essence, she's sent to L.A.
Except she's really incompetent. She has no idea what's going on, even though it's clear she's in the land of lethal yoga poses and laid-off office grunts. In fact, she's so incompetent, she has to rely on some eight year old girl to avoid clear danger (such as nazi zombie whores and plot holes).
behold, the pen of doom
In the end, when the chicky gets to where she's suppose to be, her uncle busts through the set in a drunken rage and damages the blue-green screen, sending the crew to the four corners of the world. But just when you think the movie is beyond salvaging, killer clowns drop in out of no where, kill the kid (yay!), the chicky, and everyone else within a twelve mile radius before bursting into song and dance. The end.
Now, the scenery is lush with lushy things, such as giant dolls of doom, the giant bridge of holding one's breath, and the aborted fetuses cave. If you can tolerate the melodrama of her holding her breath and whining about pillow fights with her dad, it's okay to watch for the visuals. It is a message film about... yes, you guessed it, recycling and saving the environment from original plots. So please, please recycle your ideas.
I give this movie a C++ for visual appeal, but nothing much else.
~mr. fuzzypants
*It's actually a Hong Kong/Thai co-production, but he wont listen...
'night watch' and 'day watch' is a moovee due-o of hoarer, and spydur bugz, and skari rushshawnz. it iz of bytey guyz and gurlz who lyke bluud and peeple with flash lytes of doom. itz also veri gloomi.
this moovee is about the antiks of sum rushshan guy who haytz his gurlfren and tryz to get reeveng by talking to sum baabooshka soreseress fore sum blak majik. itz this blak majik that maykz him funi and enter the 'gloomi' and halusinate.
spydur!!!
basikly hez a 'other' vampi killur who only haz the power to halusinate, and he doez it alot. he seez peeplez hed xploodz into klay, and gloing i'z, metall wips of desstrukshawn, and vidio gaymz that sea into the fyouchur. he'z basikly an alki who gets off on booze and bluud and bumblez roand until he meatz this chik who iz all powurfull and kursed with krows around hur. he sedusez hur with an ulser and then beetraiz this kid and maykez out with sum owl chik whoz reely a lezbeean.
i dont no... but itz kool!!!
parti at end of wurld karioki!
than, in the sekkond moovee, he getz off killing sum stuupid vampi, cuz the gurlfren chik wuz hawt, but that gets him in trubble with the vampi clan, who want to kill him. so he hydes in sum person, who maykes out with hiz gurlfren and haz lezbeean sex in sum waturfall plase. but then the hed vampi guy gets pissed kuz the halucinator guy keepz killing peeple, and so he triez to destroi publik trannset. but he getz tyred and haz this rushshawn parti. but kuz the killer klownz werent envited, they get pissed and destroi moskva and the rest of the wurld and the peeple, than join the parti and sing and danse on there korpsez. the end.
mosko, rushsha, 2007 (aftur a kold wintur)
the mooveez are all veri pretti to watch, and antertayning, and funni, and rushshawnz are wiirud (lyke sum of them japaneze mooveez that are wiiurd). i give it boath A!!!!
sumtymez i think my lyff is a moovee or a dreem, and than i saa a moovee that konfirmz muh suspishawnz, 'living in oblivion'.
this moovee is durekted by 'steve buscemi', otherwize none as 'broadway bob dannunzio' in that toretur porn moovee 'art school confidential', and 'neil' from 'final fantasy: the spirits within', the faelled atempt of square to brake free from gaymez.
i wood kall it a veri shourt fillm kauze it only haz three seenz: one mylk fest with lazor catapillar ninjaz, one love seen ware brad pitt gets ataked by pyritz, and one david lynch rip off with kreepy olde laydiz triing to rape sum dwarf. it wuz reeelly tuching me, it wuz reeelly emoshawnal.
i wood rekommend this fillm to aniwon who wantz to no wut steve buscemi is reeely like. i give this fillm A for oddashus.
~mr. fuzzypants
p.s. SUM peeple think i blathur too much cuz they have ADD or wutever, so im keeping it short from now on.
sum thyme ago i wuz given a kopy of 'dragon head' and told that it wuz the best head moovee ever maid with spesial efeks and plot and karakturz. it is a japaneze film, were my pearants wur from before they dyed of a nukleer aksident.
so this fillm is about a kupel who get tottalli skrewed up in some trayn axsident ware peeple are getting krushed and sum krazy guy is putting maykeup on them with fyre. so the kuple get freeked out and deside to have a ninja kontest for who keeps the gurl. so the whimp guy winz who can't even stand on his own feet and krawl into a sueer tube where they mayke out.
when they wayke up, their in this post-apokalips ash wurld where the wurld is made out of ash. sum village peeple are smoeking it and get toetally high and start killing off theyre children, which i totally supporrt. exsept these ninja soljerz kum in and sayve the stuupid kouple from getting katanaed, blowing up the plase and singing.
the ninja solejuz are pretty lame and start talking about stuupid stuff like whewre the ash kame from. it was an absoaluut snore fest and i wohke up to find emoeshawnless kidz who had there brainz reemooved (witch all kidz shood be subgekt too) killing theyre pearants and feesting on there harts.
but than a nuklear buddha started to sheyen his vokano on the gruup and killed everyone butt teh coupel, who eskaped on likwuid hellekopturz that konverted the ash into rainbowz. sum of the peeple in the hellikopturz wur insane and thru the whimpi guy of, who landed on a big spyke but sumhow sirvived cuz he's t1000.
so than were in tokyo and everyone is zombiez and the whimpi guy goez insane, mayking out with sum nasti old guy. but than killer klownz kum in their spase krafts, kill everyone with there sexi steal katanaz and distroi the sity and sing and danse on their ash faces. the end.
so, in akuality, and to be onest, i slept thru hthis moovee so im steeling the riteup from yahoo. this wuz a very kraptakular moovee and very boreing and at the end kuudent kare less to wut happened with it all, even though a big penis volkano urupted giving dragon head to the surviviers. i give this moovee a D+ for beeing stuupidli boring and lame, but ok for being post-apokalips and killer klownz.
i wuz envited by amc to watch this moovee kalled 'the losers'. i wuzn't axpoused to a siloette of sum kak n' ballz with weenz, jest a bunch of crappy traylurz of mooveez ill never sea.
so the moovee itz about a bunch of frat boiz streight from yale who think there hawt shit cuz there daddiez payd there edyoukashawn. than they dress up in armi fahteegez, dreyeveeng yello pintoz and pretend there flyboiz. theiz guiz are obsessed with gunz, nivez and bazookaz and bloing up crap - and gurlz (ehspesially the hawt uhura chickie who shaks it up with the vulkan).
then therez this dweeb kalled max who thiks hez hawt shit cuz he warez a suut and keelz peepel. so wut? aniwayz, he wants to chanje the planz cuz the losers no to much (the armi-yale boiz). then this geeky-buffed guy saiz 'good timez' and lauffs.
so apearrently, there not soljer-yale boiz, but fugetivez, and that they have to steel there lives bak. then ohura has a 'buizness propasaision' for 'klay'. witch i think is fight-sex (sumthing akshawn peeple are into). but the thing ohura wants to do is kill the luzerz on sum sueehside pak thing (sumthing about saving the spase-thyme kontinuum for spok i guess). then, the geek-buff guy saiz sumthing, but i wuzn't paing attenshawn kuz i was fokusing on his pink shurt. but afftur that, they rize from the ded. there like undead luzers warring with the see eye eh. and shez all bazooka crazy. then sum 'blak mcguivur' makes more bazookaz and firez them randomly. the geek-buff guy is shoawning his junk to sum ladiez, but then he shoawz his awsum envizeble gun tekneekeh.
but jest when thingz seem to be going fur them, theze killer klownz from outer spase ahrive, keel everyone, and danses on there horrebly disfegured bodies before their off agan.
now, when watching this moovee, i kant help but think of the a-teem. except there not a-teem. this moovee wuz ok, but i kant but think that it coulda been better... or maybe it wuz the eer plugs kuz i couldnt heer anything. or maybe it wuz the fat dik who kept kiking my chair and lauffing at the lokatshawn titles. what a dik.
i give this film a B-. it wuz ok, and it had ohura in it, but i lieked 'kick-ass' better. the end.
i got FREE passez to "kick-ass" yesturdai. its yet anotter komic-enspiered moovee filmed in toronto but pretending to be new york. cuz no one wants to live in smellie, filthie toronto, especially to shag it up in there alleywayz.
so i got into the theatur at jon street and we wached this kok and ballz flying through the sky for like an hour, deefening our earz as it repeeted over and over again. than some twirpp in a skuba suit started to attak us with prizez, it wuz scari. i thought this was about superheors.
the moovee envolved lots of peeple dying - which i always approved of. what seeled the deel for me wuz - and i wont say much - but a fello plushy-teddy bear was saved from near death by one of the superheors and that jest made my day. to often i see plushies get beeten up, abused, or berned, so when i saw this i just about pooped my pants in glee.
now, some stuupid cbc reevuuer thought this muuvee sucked cuz it 'katered to the fanboiz' of the scene, which reely ofended me cuz i liked it. i fucken hate superheors and their homophobic-homoerotic konsurvateve moralizing spandex shit. its the indie comix that appealz to me, cuz i'm sofistekated.
so the moovee is about this geek who has no frens or 'life' who reeds comix all dai becuz he is a geek. he then desides to put on a kostume and act like a loon and he suckz. so his dad thinks hez gay, cuz he got naked in an alleyway and so does his friendz, and he becomes this gay GFF friend to this hot chickie who likes to play with needels. she haz theze big boobiez and when we saw them (u could see some niiple) one of the guyz in the audience made some weird noizes (we thought he was masturbating or sumthing). this tiks me off cuz we have so much violents and swearing but merikanz are afrade of some nakkedness. they have fuked up valuz. anywayz, then, sum killer klownz, dressed up as batman and robin come in and save the day, killing all the drugies and blowing peeple up with gattling gunz. then they do a song and danse.
what reeely ticks off the moralety polise is the 11y gurl who killz peeple and kusses a bit: 'cunt', 'fucker', stuff like that. reellly, that wuz the best part of the moovie and now i want to be her. i'm still young!!! im gonna lern kun fuu and weponz and ware her kool kostume and kik ass.
so all in all, the moovee haz tipikal hollewood xpektaishawns, but it makes up for it with lots of violents, deth, kick-assness, and some gud songz. without the 'hit gurl' i would have given it C for hollewood affort, but with the gurl, i give it A-.
sum tyme ago i wahched this moovee kalled 'tusk' by 'alejandro jodorowsky'. this moovee is so rareh i kud only find veri feu pikturz and no trailurz.
this is an epik moovee about the eturnal batle beetween ellefant vs ellefant vs smelli britz. itz also about ugly drunk poechurz vs there own stuupidety.
in tusk, their iz an ellefant in twilyt zown chaysing a gurl in a sykodelik geetar riff, with a angri brit man yelling at peeple cuz there not britesh.
the star of the moovee iz the spydur monkee karaker who i kall 'boo', who hangz out with teh stuupid poechurz cuz thei tallerate hiz poo toassing. but than this smelli brit chikie bekumz 'indyan' by wareing a dress and lissening to 'indyan' musik, witch makes the angri brit angri, who than yellz cuz hez a dik. but than the angri brit is beeten by a merikan dik.
but than killer klownz appeer and have a epik battel with the ellefant, lasting three weaks, destroiing parts of azsha and sinking briteon below the oceasn. everiwon wuz killed cedpt teh spydur monkee, who inhairited teh eerth.
this moovee wuz reeeeeellly boring and lame and everiwon wuz talking in sum languwag that no onez ever hurd befor, so i give this moovee a D, (without the spydur monkee it iz F).
its thyme for the reevuu for the best moovee ever maid... 'sex in the city'!!!
i want to start off with the best seen, where charlotte poops herself because shes a fareytail.
now, ive heared chiks and gay peeple hate it cuz it has gurlz where gurlz can be rich and wellthy and have jobs and be ideots when it comes to relayshawnships. but what i think is that its fine being filtchy rich as a gurl, but just odn't talk about guyz and sex as much as they do cauze they sound nearotik and desparate.
so the moovee starts us off with gratooetus stak footage of man-hattan - cuz i guess sex in dallas just aint the same as new york. then we see jon 'mr big' smuck lay his moves on carrie. carrie gets into it and starts dansing alone in her kloset nakkid. there is this talk of 'fareytale' endings and how itd suck, but then mr big freaks out cuz he doesnst have 200 friends and runs away. carrie puts on the chace running around sentral park looking for him, looking like alice and wundurland. then this chick from dreamgurls appers and does carries laandry, klaiming st lousie is better than new york. 'steve' then donates his sperm to charlotte who then bears konjoined twins with horns and wings. and samantha fights off an invading hoarde of zombie ex lovers with flassid sushi.
but jest when you think things will be okai, carrie gets huemilliated at the prom by a bunch of brats with the dumping of blood on her dress as she sings on stage and she freeks out. she blows up the gim, half the town, and kills her stuupid reeligus nut mother by emplooding the house. then, she shacks it up with the rushan dude in paris while the dreamgirls chicky gets a promotion at vohgeh to take over the bizness... but then killer klownz appear in there interglattic spaseship and kill her cuz shes the only black charaker in the moovee. the end.
i got the honer of whatching a grate meuusikal kalled 'sweeney todd', feeturing jonny det, and hellena bonam kartur, and alan rikman. it has the purfect kombinatino of viktoriana, deth, and singing.
i thoht that sum of the songs were a bit too 'cheeri' for my liking, but the lyrics spoke to my hart.. sum of it anywayz.
Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two There's the one staying put in his proper place And the one with his foot in the other one's face Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.
No, we all deserve to die Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why. Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief For the rest of us death will be a relief
isnt it grate? itz full of awesum...
itz also ful of razro slising and meet pyz. im triing to konvinse squishy and kafka to open up there own shop and do the same... id be the litle boy with the weg!!
aniwayz... so the stori is about this ordenari man (jonny det) hue had everithing... babies and whyves and stuf. butt then a man of power (alan rikman) stole his freedum, his fameli, and baneshed him! in his soro a nu man wuz born... the dream demon todd! so rikman stole his dauter-child and he wants revenge even tho loveit (karter) thinks hez an ideot for wanting it. so liek his demon power komes from singing, and he sings to deth a bunch of twits who get sent to the furnass room ware they make piez. they inslav a boy to mayk the meet piez (made out of humonz!!), so then, todd kils rikman and his 'arm' gets kompleet again. butt then, loveit killz todd for biing an ideot and killer klownz kill the boy - but, az a surprize ending, mr. todd and ms. prevett woke up and dansed with the klownz!!! the end.
yesturday i got to watch the kurt russell klassik: "big trouble in little china". russell was on top of his game, delivering a wundarful perphormanse of a misunderstud truck driver tring to make ends meat. there is so much depth and komplexity to his karaktur that one thinks of fryday the 13th or gostbusturs.
of korse, 'jack', as they kall hiim, is supported by a wundurful cirkus of purformerz who do wild and krazy stunts to delite the krowd. i think i remember fire eaters, or dansers... or just fire. they help jack basikally fight kommunist kun foo fighters with godly powers like twurling blades and bad breath.
the stori starts off with jack talking about how grate he is and how you'd be an ideot to think the supernateral doesn't exest, cuz it does. then we are shown all t hese tempelz and ornait thingz and festevalz, talk of dark majik, and flying gurls, and then it eruapts into an epik fight seen... kind of reminding me of that one restling seen in 'they live', where the mane guy pyle-drivs his best friend into waring his sunglassez - smart, sexi steff.
then jack makes out with that sex in the sity chicky and it gets awesum and just when you think the godz are dead, they summan an army of killer klownz as their finally attak and kill jack and his friends. the end.
i thought it wuz relly well dune, especially the end part. i give it a B for boldness.
last nite i watched this moovee kalled 'avatar', ritten, dureketed, prodoosed, skored, koreograffed, and dicktated by james cameron.
it has these meethead armi brats in a tropikal world of awwsum. theres these fliing mahcheens and greeny-blue savage peeple who like sweening on vines like tarzan. their so primitive and dumb, not like the colonies who have all these sientists, and politishans. speeking of politiks, it has it. theres this talk of 'rites' and 'inviralmentalizm' and it gets stuupid like sum stuupid komparison to hitler or rumsfeld or israel.
and it has the aleeian chik!!! shes so hawt and awwsum. its woerf seeing the mooovee just for her.
so this legless guy coms up and gets changed into the savege peeple and goes naytev, much to the annoiance of his armi bossez. so tenshon builds and sum fights and then the naytivs fight back in this epik fight. then killer klownz fly in and kill everiwon, and the armi breaks out into song and danse with the killer klownz. the end.
