sum tyme ago, i wached this moovee kalled 'symbol' by sumwon in japan. itz about a homoeratik restlur and sum gui in pajamaz and itz reely, reely wiiurd.
at furst, won mite theenk that itz a mexikan moovee kuz therez theeze nunz and restlurz speeking spanesh in sum dessert. butt itz naut. kuz than we see this japaneeze guy who iz in a room filled with evil demun chilldren. i dont want to spoill anitheeng, butt letz jast say itz waki.
letz jast say that itz about finding gawdzilla, or bekuming won, by puting on a homoerotika maask on. but than killur klownz find there maask and destroy the yuniverce, and danse on there krushed adamz. the end.
this moovee wuz reeely wiiurd but sumhow gud. i give it a A!
sumtymez i think my lyff is a moovee or a dreem, and than i saa a moovee that konfirmz muh suspishawnz, 'living in oblivion'.
this moovee is durekted by 'steve buscemi', otherwize none as 'broadway bob dannunzio' in that toretur porn moovee 'art school confidential', and 'neil' from 'final fantasy: the spirits within', the faelled atempt of square to brake free from gaymez.
i wood kall it a veri shourt fillm kauze it only haz three seenz: one mylk fest with lazor catapillar ninjaz, one love seen ware brad pitt gets ataked by pyritz, and one david lynch rip off with kreepy olde laydiz triing to rape sum dwarf. it wuz reeelly tuching me, it wuz reeelly emoshawnal.
i wood rekommend this fillm to aniwon who wantz to no wut steve buscemi is reeely like. i give this fillm A for oddashus.
~mr. fuzzypants
p.s. SUM peeple think i blathur too much cuz they have ADD or wutever, so im keeping it short from now on.
i got FREE passez to "kick-ass" yesturdai. its yet anotter komic-enspiered moovee filmed in toronto but pretending to be new york. cuz no one wants to live in smellie, filthie toronto, especially to shag it up in there alleywayz.
so i got into the theatur at jon street and we wached this kok and ballz flying through the sky for like an hour, deefening our earz as it repeeted over and over again. than some twirpp in a skuba suit started to attak us with prizez, it wuz scari. i thought this was about superheors.
the moovee envolved lots of peeple dying - which i always approved of. what seeled the deel for me wuz - and i wont say much - but a fello plushy-teddy bear was saved from near death by one of the superheors and that jest made my day. to often i see plushies get beeten up, abused, or berned, so when i saw this i just about pooped my pants in glee.
now, some stuupid cbc reevuuer thought this muuvee sucked cuz it 'katered to the fanboiz' of the scene, which reely ofended me cuz i liked it. i fucken hate superheors and their homophobic-homoerotic konsurvateve moralizing spandex shit. its the indie comix that appealz to me, cuz i'm sofistekated.
so the moovee is about this geek who has no frens or 'life' who reeds comix all dai becuz he is a geek. he then desides to put on a kostume and act like a loon and he suckz. so his dad thinks hez gay, cuz he got naked in an alleyway and so does his friendz, and he becomes this gay GFF friend to this hot chickie who likes to play with needels. she haz theze big boobiez and when we saw them (u could see some niiple) one of the guyz in the audience made some weird noizes (we thought he was masturbating or sumthing). this tiks me off cuz we have so much violents and swearing but merikanz are afrade of some nakkedness. they have fuked up valuz. anywayz, then, sum killer klownz, dressed up as batman and robin come in and save the day, killing all the drugies and blowing peeple up with gattling gunz. then they do a song and danse.
what reeely ticks off the moralety polise is the 11y gurl who killz peeple and kusses a bit: 'cunt', 'fucker', stuff like that. reellly, that wuz the best part of the moovie and now i want to be her. i'm still young!!! im gonna lern kun fuu and weponz and ware her kool kostume and kik ass.
so all in all, the moovee haz tipikal hollewood xpektaishawns, but it makes up for it with lots of violents, deth, kick-assness, and some gud songz. without the 'hit gurl' i would have given it C for hollewood affort, but with the gurl, i give it A-.
yesturday i got to watch the kurt russell klassik: "big trouble in little china". russell was on top of his game, delivering a wundarful perphormanse of a misunderstud truck driver tring to make ends meat. there is so much depth and komplexity to his karaktur that one thinks of fryday the 13th or gostbusturs.
of korse, 'jack', as they kall hiim, is supported by a wundurful cirkus of purformerz who do wild and krazy stunts to delite the krowd. i think i remember fire eaters, or dansers... or just fire. they help jack basikally fight kommunist kun foo fighters with godly powers like twurling blades and bad breath.
the stori starts off with jack talking about how grate he is and how you'd be an ideot to think the supernateral doesn't exest, cuz it does. then we are shown all t hese tempelz and ornait thingz and festevalz, talk of dark majik, and flying gurls, and then it eruapts into an epik fight seen... kind of reminding me of that one restling seen in 'they live', where the mane guy pyle-drivs his best friend into waring his sunglassez - smart, sexi steff.
then jack makes out with that sex in the sity chicky and it gets awesum and just when you think the godz are dead, they summan an army of killer klownz as their finally attak and kill jack and his friends. the end.
i thought it wuz relly well dune, especially the end part. i give it a B for boldness.
so for oktoebur, me and the smellies are waching scari mooveez and halloween stuff. (k, oktoebur is half over now but the smellies were bizzy working on halloween cost-humes and crap and woodn't help me update my blog.)
this week we watched 'the addams family' and 'addams family values'. it was horefek from the yuki abbnormal freeks who thought the addams were 'weird' and wanted to steel theyre money. stuupid loiyer freeks and sneeki peepel.
there waz a lot of cool stuff like burning things, canneballizem, homoside, enfanteside,, death, gilloteen, nivz, blood splatter, extc. but the second one was better. better ritten.
soon is nightmare on elm street reevuuz!!!
~mr. fuzzypants
The Fuzzypants Family: me, kafka, squishy, and god, drawn by me!(with help from squishy)
2 nites ago, the humons saw 'zombieland' without me.... mayks me so angri!!!!! they told me about it last nite.
its narate-ed by this 'soshally awwkword' kid who sirvives a zombie apakalips. it is sumwhat stileishly done, but still has that 'halliwould touch' (the youjawool suspeks). still, they say it was fun to watch, and funny, and how can you say 'no' to this woody harrelson guy and a kameo by 'BM'.
jujing by plot, its a bromancer... err.. rowmantik komedi zombie flik... but it wuz dun with 'shawn of the dead!!!' still, it was fun to watch.
i give it a 'B'-grade poop (yes, now were 'grading')
p.s. i have no idea how god got to post here, but hes not doing it again!!!
yesturday... at midnite madness (tiff), i watched this moovee kalled 'bitch slap', and it had these gurls (everione thought they were hot, but they all look the saym to me), and also aktors from Herculese and Zena (Zena, Herculese and their sidekicks were all in it).
baysikly, these gurls were in a desert and people were getting there asez kicked... or slapped. had all thez flashbaks... to weird and onederful places. i think they kalled it 'blue screen'. insanely blue screen... and exploshawns!!!!
i wuz konfuzed.... their wuz lots of mammary glands and posteriors. like... lots of it. and the gurls were acting like bitches. i kried when -censored- died.... while may be i dont get it, the humons enjoyed it and said that "yes, itz sappose to be an xploytateve moovee hiliting the oneders of the posterior and mammary glands... and slapping... and kevin sorbo. deal with it."
i didnt no what wuz going on... so i gave it 1 out of 5... but the humons insisted that i rayz it to a respekible 3.5 out of five poops.
