so i gawt to wach this spanesh moovee kalled 'the dark hour'. itz a hoarer moovee with zombeez and goest-aleeanz and stuupid diks. itz centured on this boy kalled 'jesus' who is in the kompanee of othur juuz set in a bunkur airea sirounded bi peepel who hayte juuz (zombeez and goest-aleeanz).
were led to beeleev that there wuz this newkleer apokalips with krazi peeple with dog-hedz and an armi of zombeez who hayt spanesh peepel. theeze juu servivorz are tyred and angri and loanly and hayt theze stuupid hayturz, so thei deside to blo them all up with there gunz lyke they were brewse willus.
mammi...?!
butt the zombeez and goest-aleeanz are moor pissed and thei piss on them, forsing the kamera gui to pan out and reelize there tru situashawn - killer klownz are xpearimenting on them before eeting there fasez - witch thei du. the end.
this moovee wuz a bit lo on the budgat, but it wuz still gud. i gev this moovee a B+ for beening a sleepur theengee.
sum thyme ago i wuz given a kopy of 'dragon head' and told that it wuz the best head moovee ever maid with spesial efeks and plot and karakturz. it is a japaneze film, were my pearants wur from before they dyed of a nukleer aksident.
so this fillm is about a kupel who get tottalli skrewed up in some trayn axsident ware peeple are getting krushed and sum krazy guy is putting maykeup on them with fyre. so the kuple get freeked out and deside to have a ninja kontest for who keeps the gurl. so the whimp guy winz who can't even stand on his own feet and krawl into a sueer tube where they mayke out.
when they wayke up, their in this post-apokalips ash wurld where the wurld is made out of ash. sum village peeple are smoeking it and get toetally high and start killing off theyre children, which i totally supporrt. exsept these ninja soljerz kum in and sayve the stuupid kouple from getting katanaed, blowing up the plase and singing.
the ninja solejuz are pretty lame and start talking about stuupid stuff like whewre the ash kame from. it was an absoaluut snore fest and i wohke up to find emoeshawnless kidz who had there brainz reemooved (witch all kidz shood be subgekt too) killing theyre pearants and feesting on there harts.
but than a nuklear buddha started to sheyen his vokano on the gruup and killed everyone butt teh coupel, who eskaped on likwuid hellekopturz that konverted the ash into rainbowz. sum of the peeple in the hellikopturz wur insane and thru the whimpi guy of, who landed on a big spyke but sumhow sirvived cuz he's t1000.
so than were in tokyo and everyone is zombiez and the whimpi guy goez insane, mayking out with sum nasti old guy. but than killer klownz kum in their spase krafts, kill everyone with there sexi steal katanaz and distroi the sity and sing and danse on their ash faces. the end.
so, in akuality, and to be onest, i slept thru hthis moovee so im steeling the riteup from yahoo. this wuz a very kraptakular moovee and very boreing and at the end kuudent kare less to wut happened with it all, even though a big penis volkano urupted giving dragon head to the surviviers. i give this moovee a D+ for beeing stuupidli boring and lame, but ok for being post-apokalips and killer klownz.
so last nite i got to see 'district 9' - i was smuguled into the theatur like some third world mygrant - i wasnt happy about that, let me tell you!
so the moovee had these aeliens who were grumpy and peepel having sex for kat food and evil peepel being real dicks and peeple xplouding!!! it wuz awsum!!! i was cheering and dansing as they kept xplouding... blood everiwhere. i was asking kafka and squishy if i could have sex and make heads xploud and they were like shut the fuck up were trying tow atch the moovee.
so it got me thinking about making this film where this really fuzzy guy whos pissed off goes around a city blowing peepel up... and everyone is trying to get into his pants cuz hes all hot and hes like... sure get in my pants but i got to kill this guy - and the guys head xplouds all over the room and peepel are screeming and hes like fuck yall and then he klownes himself and sends himself into the past where he fucks the future and travles to eegept on another planet where he becomes fairoh and enslaves the peepel there and they build statews for him.
squishy and kafka ignored my idea so i thought id post it here.
anywayz, i give this moovee a A for head exploushawn awsumnes
last nite, kafka took me on hs scari bike to the moovee theater to see the nu moovee '9'. squishy was so happi to see me there, and we have kookies. yum!
so the moovee 9 is all animated b y komputer. it is set in a post-apokalips world where all the smelly humons are dead! yay!! but it has these masheens that are evul and kool. the animayshons are well dun and the karakters are neat (designs, etc.). its not dizni so things die for gud. i had a gud time wahching it, but felt there was some room for empruvment near the end (its ok, but needed more wurk).
ok so it wuz suhjestd that i add in sum reevuuz fore this blogg, so im gonna poste sum mooveez and gaimz reevuuz!!!
yasturdai, i whachd 'franklyn', whuch iz this straenje movie about london - unn no-no, meenwhiel sity. peepel werr stuupid on reelegon or sumthing and this kloked guy is sappoze to sav them. but were in lundon, and i got konfuzed. some peepel having ehshuez with ther mum, or whives, or sumthing... peepel triing to kil themsellvz.
i got konfuzed... but i wuz told aftur the moovee abot wut hapend, and it iz sappoze to cum togeter, not like linch (who always confuzes me). steempaunk wuz kool - i liked the kostooms and meenwhiel sity. yett, it seamed like 2 mooveez - it wuz enturesting, but neaded sumting to et. the moovee wuz ok, but it coud hav been beter had it been mour pallishd arond the edjez.
mammi...?!
